Trial of Pain
by AngelSnake
Summary: Snake battles the two people that created the legend we know of but leaves him with tragedy, death, and sorrow.
1. A One Eyed Observer

**Oh no! I'm back with...Well back with writing! I had this idea in my head for days now. I couldn't get it out of my head. I had to write so that my brain will not explode. It's too late! It exploded! This is what I get for reading the fanfics of Shining Zephyr, Andi Mack, and Solid Snake's Soldier! It's all you guys fault! Awesome writers!**

**HAHAHA Well, if anyone is worried about Metal Gear Solid: Shadow Moses (which don't believe no one does), don't worry! I will finish it! I have decided to rewrite some chapters. I felt I lost an edge so I will be using Christmas Break to rewrite and do more stories with my original character, Angel!**

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A One Eyed Observer

He gazed at the wreckage of the monstrosity that was once Metal Gear D. Exhausted as he sighed in relief for surviving yet again against a Metal Gear. He looked at his clothes which were burning smoke. In haste, he dropped over his equipment bag as small flames collected around his knife, rations, and even his goggles. Patting the flames off the shoulders and body of his green uniform, a battle cry caught his attention. It came from the damaged cockpit of the revolutionary walking tank.

"Fox!"

"Snake," the man with the codename Fox screamed. He flew off of the cockpit landing in a roll.

Snake grabbed the burnt handle of his .45 and aimed it at his friend.

Still in his mind, he couldn't believe Fox will betray Foxhound. Him. A loyal soldier which everyone respected and wanted to be.

He wasn't the exception.

Could he really shot his friend?

He may have second thoughts of killing his friend but his friend didn't. Fox, with cold precision, disarmed and assailed him with punches to his face. He cursed at his own weakness as Gray Fox ran through the double doors that were in front of him. A battle cry sneered through the doors as Snake tailed Fox.

That wasn't going to happen no more. No more hesitation.

"Come here, Snake!"

Going through sets of double doors on his right, he reached a room that was dim and had a cool breeze to it. He saw a shadow crept up in the corner of his eyes.

"Come on out, Fox! I know you are here."

The veteran with silvery, short hair stepped out from the left corner of the room slowly. His nose was a little out of place as he smirked.

Snake stepped inside and slowly walked towards the cold-blooded hunter. Fox held out a switch causing Snake to stop in his tracks.

"You walked into a minefield. A fitting place for a battle between rivals."

"Fox! I'm going to knock some sense into you!"

Snake put up his fists as Fox stood there, "No more hesitation? Good."

Fox stretched out his arms as he turned his neck like he was performing warm-up exercises. Like this was a sport to him…a game.

"Come on, Snake. Let me feel it!"

Fox ran with lightning speed and jabbed his elbow into Snake's cheek. Snake's body twirled around as he shook the dizziness of the blow. Fox was about to do another jab but he grabbed Fox's arm and drove his fist into his friend's chin.

Fox laughed as pain surged through. His laughter died down as he wiped saliva.

"Very good. When was our last sparring, Snake?"

"After Outer Heaven."

"_You call that a punch, rookie? I can't believe you defeated Big Boss with that girly blow."_

"_I'm just getting warmed-up, Fox."_

"_Good! Hand to hand is the bases of all combat. Only a fool trusts his life to a weapon."_

Snake kicked his friend in the abdomen but his friend only clinched a little. Snake was about to threw a kick to his head. Fox grabbed his foot and twirled his ankle causing Snake to fall to the ground.

Flipping back in the game, Snake put his hands in a formation of his codename. Fox nodded in approval.

This wasn't a cartoon.

This wasn't a skirmish between good vs. evil.

It was a career. A profession.

Duel between two soldiers on the opposite side of one another.

They stared at each other's eyes in a game of dare. They both challenged as they threw a punch. Snake blew a strike to Fox's neck. A crack was heard but Fox returned the favor. He choked but he swallowed the grip in his throat.

Was this it?

Is he going to kill him?

Snake was ferocious in his attacks and continuously pounced Fox with kicks and punches. Fox was weakening but he clawed at his friend.

This was not vengeance.

There was no enmity between them.

It was the mission that put them together but the mission didn't pit two friends in a brawl.

Fox was breathing heavily as his muscles wilted. He stared at his friend and smiled. He enjoyed this. The fight of sheer muscle. Of sheer will power. He craved it and flourished with it. The joy of battle. The crushing of bone and sinew.

An uppercut forced Fox back. Snake hissed like a demon. He enjoyed it too. The fight of proving who was stronger. Proving to him that he wasn't a rookie no more. Fox limped his head forward as Snake, with no mercy, drilled his knuckles to his friend's forehead.

Blood sprayed out of his forehead in thin lines. Some landed on Snake's cheek. Fox made a crushing thud on the floor.

Their conversation was confessional. How poetic! How honorable the duel was. As Fox said with full emotion muttered to Snake his final words. The witness of Fox's last stand.

Enough of this! The blood has been shed. He can never wipe it from his shadow of hands.

It is time! My foster son has served his purpose. It's time to claim death.

"Snake! Come over here!"

"Big Boss!"

Yes! He is angry. He is infuriated. Good! As everyone knows, rage is the most dangerous emotion.

I will see you again.

Death is now at my door. Come on, shadow of a man! Share it with me!

For I have waited twenty years….

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**Wow! Big Boss is nothing but a madman now, isn't he?**

**Next chp. "Blood of a Friend"**


	2. Blood of a Friend

**When I was writing this story, I was about to cry! I can't believe I'm writing this! (Again, I blame Shining Zephyr, Andi Mack, and Solid Snake's Soldier.)**

**So enjoy!**

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Blood of a Friend

We fought mercilessly.

We ridiculed each other brutally.

You wouldn't even know we were pals by the way we clashed. Pouncing like foxes and hissing like snakes. We weren't even human. That's the question. Are we really human? Humans bleed. Humans have feelings…a conscience.

As we hit the cheeks of our sinful flesh, I wonder about that.

"_Snake, whoever shows the first spill of blood in a battlefield is already dead."_

Fox…why?

My knuckles grew white. My arms grew tense. In my heart…it screamed for me to stop.

But my body had other plans.

As I pulled my punches, I can hear the cracks of bone break from my friend's neck. You will think I will stop and let him recover.

No…like a snake poisoning its victims several times over, I punched…I jabbed at my friend.

I didn't feel any pain as I clawed my way breaking my friend. I looked into my friend's eyes. His mud colored eyes blew sharp, cold feelings towards my spine. Bliss twinkled in his eyes. Did he enjoy this…this brutal display of human nature? Even as a rookie, I couldn't comprehend this joy of battle he had.

Our fight continued as I got Fox in a neck lock but a blow to my stomach unleashed my grip. I felt adrenaline swirling in my veins as I decided to try a different approach. Hitting him numerous times in the head, I saw his attacks waning. His movements grew sluggish and miscalculated. The end was near.

He was wheezing a little as I was about to do one final punch to his skull. One step closer to completing the mission and finally putting my nightmares to rest.

Yes…that was what I really wanted. The nightmares to go away of all the people I killed and a certain CO to get out of my head.

As my knuckles hit the head of my friend, blood flew across my face. My friend's blood…

Time slowed down as my friend coughed up blood and landed on the minefield. His eyes grew wide as he looked up at me with eyes near death.

"It's time to give up my title. The snake has defeated the fox."

"Fox…why?"

My friend smiled in pain, "Our situation is incredibly different. Big Boss…he was a CO to you. A commander. But to me…" Fox coughed as his paralyzed body chilled.

It was a dangerous gesture but I bent down and looked into my friend's eyes. We were friends but our relationship was strictly professional.

Now…something deeper was going on.

Fox stared at me with tired eyes, "To me…he was like a father…he saved my life twice…no…wait three times. First was when I was very young in Vietnam. Because of my half-white heritage, I was forced to work in hard labor camps. He saved my life from that retched place. Then, when I was a teenager, I was used as an experiment from some unknown organization. I was given no name…only Null…nothing but zero. Programmed like a machine…to kill."

Why was he telling me this? Though all training he gave me…telling me to never ask personal questions towards him for fear of attachment or vice versa to me.

"_What's your real name, Fox?"_

"_Never ask that. That's a personal question."_

"_Why?"_

"_Look kid, providing personal information to comrades is an unwritten rule. It's dangerous to everyone. You get attached to the person then one day they die or worse…they betray you. Emotions flare and emotions are not allowed in our kind of work."_

Now he was telling me his life story? I still don't understand. As I hear his story, the more I regret…the more my heart seems to turn.

Fox continued, "In Mozambique, I was being tortured as a RENAMO soldier. They cut off my ears and nose…"

His nose was a little out of place and his ears was scarred.

"He saved me. Did you see all these children here? We all are orphans of war. Conflict is in our blood, Snake. We can't have normal lives…get married…or…"

He wheezed and I saw a twinkle of water come down his cheek. Fox…

"Making people happy…making a woman happy…is something I could never do. I was fated to die on the battlefield. Fated to die by the sword I used to murder my enemies."

"Fox…I promise you that I will never turn into you. I will live my life."

"Please," his voice cracked, "Live it…don't be a stubborn, selfish bastard like I was. Don't let your fans down."

"Wait a minute! It was you that was helping me over the radio."

"War is no reason to end a friendship, Snake."

All of a sudden, Fox forced my hand to open as he gave me the detonator to activate the mines, "Get out of here! End my suffering!"

I couldn't believe he was asking me to do this, "No…Fox…I won't…"

"Big Boss is waiting for you outside this room."

"Fox…"

"You're a soldier. Finish your mission. Do it for me, Snake!"

I yelled in disgusted and walked to the other side of the room with the detonator in my hand before I walked out of the room. I glanced over to see Fox watching me, "Keep that promise…Snake. Now…go. Gustava! I'm sorry. Forgive me!" Real pain was in his voice.

"_He knew about Gustava? Oh Fox…"_

"_She's waiting for you."_

As I exited the room, the doors slowly closed my eyesight from Fox. I turned around to face the corridor. I lifted the detonator up and glared at it. The red switch…red like blood…was below my twitching thumb. My hands were shaking. My lips were quivering.

I pressed the button.

I heard the scream…the explosions…I smelled the smoke and felt the hot fury of the flames behind my back.

I stood there in shock. Flashes of our fight popped in my skull. Flashes of our last spar and the flash of the time we first met. His eyes were haunting me with pain and agony.

His face…kept coming into my mind.

And in that moment…I lost myself…I snapped…

I threw down the detonator causing the wires and the plastic outer covering to fly across the walls. I dug my fists into the walls denting them. I kicked and screamed.

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOX!"

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOX!"

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOX!"

I screamed his name over and over again. I touched my face and saw his dried blood. I wiped it off but it wasn't going away. Not even the tears in my eyes washed it off.

I was on my hands and knees. Suddenly, I heard a yell. I heard a laugh that cause me to compose myself.

"Snake, it's time! Come to me!"

Big Boss.

I want to kill him. He made my nightmares. He made me kill my best friend.

"I'll kill you, Big Boss!"

Blood of my friend.

It will never go away.

My hands are stained. My innocence gone.

I want vengeance!

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**What a ugly way to die! Poor Snake! (He needs a hug!) He was forced to kill his friend. Now he is going after Big Boss. We all know what's going to happen next. Oh! what tragedy!**

**Next chp. "Blood of a Father"**


	3. Blood of a Father

**Snake vs. Big Boss! We know who wins here.**

**I'm sorry this took so long. I was trying different ideas but I couldn't settle with any of them. I hope you guys enjoy this!**

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Blood of a Father

He ran down the dark hallway with voices from the past events tormented him.

"_Gu-Gustava!"_

"_Couldn't keep my feet on the ice…Frank!"_

"_I wanted to see my daughter's wedding."_

"_I'm sorry, Snake. Forgive me!"_

Someone had to pay for all this death and destruction. That was…him!

The double doors opened and revealed a huge room. Nothing caught his attention except for a tall man smoking a cigar holding some kind of assault pistol that resembled a Colt XM-16E1 on his shoulders but more modified.

This is it. My old commander versus me. My whole body was ready but my mind developed negative thoughts. He was the one who taught me CQC.

CQC...close quarters combat...he was the only one in the special operations community that knew the technique.

When I first started Foxhound...when I met him for the first time...he gave me my codename...Solid Snake.

He never did tell me why he gave me the codename but I honored him...respected him. When he sent me to Outer Heaven, I thought he believed in me...who would send a rookie into a dangerous mission without experience...I was giddy...I was happy...but reality hit me in the face.

He is nothing but a madman...a criminal...he chose me to fail...but I didn't...and now here we are.

Time to pay for betraying your unit, Big Boss!

No remorse. No mercy.

"I knew you would come back to me, Snake! The battlefield is so addicting, isn't it?"

"I'm here to get rid of the nightmares that have plagued me!"

Yes…you caused my nightmares. I would have never known betrayal if you haven't shown up!

"They will never go away, Snake. Those horrors will remain in your mind for eternity."

Nooo!

"Once you awaken the warrior in you, it will never sleep again. You crave more assignments…more thrills than ever before! You become a demon. All you crave is war. Nothing can satisfy your cravings…not money…not even sex."

"I love life!"

"Can you really say that? Look at you! You killed your best friend…your old comrades… Life has abandoned you just like it did with me."

Gray Fox...my fingers twitched as I lifted my hands up. These hands...blood on them...my friend's blood. Noo!

"No! You are wrong!"

He laughed at me. That bastard!

"You saw all these children, didn't you?"

The kids…

Flashes of small children that I ran into in Zanzibar Land entered my mind…

"_I hate guns. Can you put your gun away?"_

"_I love my one-eyed uncle. He hates grown-ups."_

"_I want my mommy! Do you know where my mommy is?"_

They all seemed no older than 3 or 4. Innocent children.

"They are war orphans just like Fox. I saved them from war. Good soldiers always rise from the depths of past wars."

"You're using children as soldiers?"

"Yes! Start a war…fan its flames… take victims and use them in the next war!"

"You're insane!"

"I'm giving them a purpose! A cause to fight for. As war continues, so is our raison d'etre."

"No…you are using them!"

"What! I gave them what they wanted. People like us can't survive in the normal world. We are dead weight. If we are lucky, we may get attention from some sleazy journalist."

"You're no better!"

"Foolish boy! You still don't understand what's going on."

"The only thing I know is I will defeat you!"

"It doesn't matter who wins here. The loser is free from the battlefield but the winner will forever be trapped in an endless cycle of war. Trapped to see your friends…family die beside you or by your own hand."

Big Boss threw his cigar down. I stepped back as he pointed his weapon towards me.

"Well come on Snake! Let's fight and see who will get to see their maker!"

A barrel full of bullets came towards me. I dived in front of steel boxes as I hear the bullets plummet the metal.

"What's wrong, Snake?!"

His voice was like an echo to me…I can't wait to shut it up!

But I have nothing…

No guns…no knife…nothing.

"What are you going to do with no weapons? Face it, Snake. You're already dead."

"I remember one person telling me that no matter how bad a situation looks never give up and trust your instincts!"

He growled at me. At his own words.

"That person died a long time ago. A man with a broken heart…"

His voice carried a sad tone. Was he sad?

"But that person was weak…pathetic…just like you!"

I saw a room to my right. Taking a chance, I ran inside the room.

It was a small room. I saw a can of aerosol rolling on the ground.

I smiled and picked the can up. I had a strategy swarming in my wicked smile.

Silence scared me. I would have sworn Big Boss would have followed me.

As I exited the room, he was nowhere to be found. I thought he ran away…

A war cry on my right destroyed that idea as a hard, cold metal slapped my face.

"You shouldn't have lost sight of your enemy. I thought I taught you better than that!"

I screamed in rage, "Shut up!"

"What are you planning with that can? Spray me to death..ha ha ha!"

I ran again straight behind myself. I felt a hot sensation zip past my shoulders. Adrenaline shot through my veins as I dodged the bullets.

On my left, I jumped inside the door.

I saw a lighter lying on the table…excellent!

My weapon was completed!

I ran back into Big Boss line of sight and cocked a smile at him.

"What are you smiling about?"

I rolled and slided closer to my former commander.

I made a mistake as I grew closer...stupid... He punched his weapon into my stomach and elbowed my chin.

Facing the ground, he laughed at me.

"I guess death is not ready for me yet again!"

I had my can of aerosol in my left hand and the lighter in my right.

I heard him gaining ground ready for the kill. One more step…

"You failed your mission. What do you say?"

"Burn!"

This is for Fox...Gustava...Kyle...wait...

Revenge..I fought for that too...

I spray his eyes but before he could retaliate, I pushed down on the can and lighted the lighter.

A spray of liquid… A spray of flames…

He screamed as his whole body was in a flaming ring. He tried to pat the flames but they were too monstrous.

His screams…his cries were so relieving to me.

He was standing with a shocked face looking at me, "You beat me."

Yes! Burn in hell!

"You may have won but there is no victory in this."

What did he mean? I killed him.

He was staring at the ceiling, "I see her! I see her!"

See who? Is he hallunicating?

"Boss, we get to see each other again"

A chill shivered down my spine as I watched Big Boss's face turn from content to despair.

"Boss! Where are you going? Stay with me! Don't leave me again!"

His hands rose in the air. His fingers tried to grab for someone invisible, "No! No! Mommy! Come back!"

Seeing Big Boss...so vulnerable...so weak...I almost felt for him. Almost.

As the flames were burning his Foxhound coat, his hands were turning black as he tried to reach someone who was not there. His fists were getting thinner as the flesh burned

His face was disfigured. His hair was scotched...half of his grayish, white hair disappeared in flames. His whole body was nothing but a withering bone devoid of skin.

"I was wrong! I didn't unite the world."

He looked at me with such clear yet scarred eyes, "Snake…"

He reached for my hand but his flames caused me to step back. A sickening smell of burnt skin strung my nose. Horrible.

"I'm…I'm…"

He was on his knees…crawling.

The flames rose higher suffocating him. Why won't he die?

"I'm your…father!"

What? Noo! You're lying.

"I'm your father!"

"Shut up!"

"I'm your father!"

My eyes were wide as my heart pumped. I stepped back from Big Boss. His body was face down but his face...his disgusting, scarred eyes staring at me.

He was silent…nothing but a pile of flesh and ash.

I have to get out of this room!

As I stumbled out, that revelation kept repeating in my head.

"I'm your father!"

How could…? Could it be?"

So much confusion…

I couldn't believe it.

I'm trying to forget...

I'm trying to...

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**Snake is in denial! **

**Next chp. "Untitled" I don't know what I'm going to title it yet.**


	4. Hysteria

**Finally, I got this written. It took me awhile to get this chapter out and I'm sorry for keeping you guys waiting.**

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Hysteria

The smell of burnt flesh stringing his nose caused him to vomit at the exit that would lead him away from this hell. He could hear Big Boss's malicious voice taunting him but three words still repeating in his brain caused him to vomit even more.

"_I'm your father."_

No! He is lying. I have no father. Never have. Never will.

Images and flashes of the first time he met Big Boss swarmed his mind. It was like time went back. An image of Big Boss overshadowing him with his cigar blowing smoke in the stale air of his office flashed in his mind.

"_So, who is our new recruit?"_

"_David, sir!"_

"_No last name?"_

"_Never had one, sir."_

"_Well, do you think you are ready for Foxhound?"_

"_Mmmm"_

"_You think your experience in the Green Berets has prepared you for this."_

"_Yes, I believe that it has."_

"_Such arrogance…kid. Do you think walking through all those deserts and jungles with your squad was all you needed to prepare for Fox-hound? Foxhound goes through your soul and seeps your body. You will have to do better than your best…beyond human stamina. In this organization, you have to be an animal with one goal in mind…the mission."_

I looked up to him as a CO. I revered him.

"_Sir, the guerillas are headed our way."_

We were both struck in a trench together…he kept me going.

"_Don't lose your head, kid or you will lose it literally! Just get your pistol ready and fire when I say so!"_

"_Yes sir!"_

"_Now!"_

He taught me CQC. When he taught me the motions…holds…flips…, I thought I will become as great as he was.

I feel violated…used…propped…all those feelings of respect switched to abhorrence. After Outer Heaven…he made me distrust people close to me.

"_I didn't expect this much especially from a rookie!"_

"_Big Boss! Please tell me that Kyle lied. That you didn't betray us. It was all a big misunderstanding, right?"_

He laughed at me….me! How dare he!

"_It is true! I'm the enemy that your government seeks to destroy."_

"_My government? It's yours too!"_

"_No…I'm no longer a puppet…no longer an expendable pawn in a political game."_

I never understood him but in my eyes, he was a traitor…a monster.

"_You used me, Big Boss. You never believed in me, did you?"_

"_No…to me…you're just another dead soldier…You are nothing to me!"_

I took one more look at his corpse and ran towards it like a hot boiling bullet train. His eyes were still watching me as I glared at him.

"You are not my father!"

Kicking his abdomen, I screamed as my black polished boot imprinting his scorched body.

"I'm not you!"

I'm still kicking.

"You're a traitor…a menace to society…"

Still kicking, I damaged the skin he had left. His blood wasn't red no more…it was the color of darkness…ink.

"I hate you!"

I beat his stomach hard as burnt organs crashed beneath my feet.

"I hate you!"

I laughed hysterically like a mad man. Suddenly, I felt hands on my cheeks as a blonde haired woman stared at me with teary eyes of pity, remorse, and disgust.

She saw the whole thing, "Holly!"

"He can't hurt you no more. He can't…please let it go."

Her voice was like an angel and for a moment, I felt like stars were on my head. She held my hand tightly…to let me know she was still here. I noticed on her other hand black ink dropping from it. I touched my face as it became clear to me how victorious my kicks were.

I looked over his stomach. There was a hole…like his heart.

"Let's getting out of this place," Holly pleaded with me as she caressed my brown hair softly.

As she pushed my body away from the corpse, his eyes stalked me. The doors behind me closed slowly leaving me the lingering feeling of relief that my nightmares will disappear.

Holly smiled at me as she saw my face glow with delight.

"Let's get out of here!"

Dents on the walls and wires sparking in the air caused me to stop. Holly forced me to walk inside the room...where my friend laid dead. Blacken walls, which before were spot clear with silver, lead my eyes to the ground. The mines...I set off weakened the structure of the ceiling. Debris was on the floor scattered around. An arm with streams of blood crept under a pile of debris.

"We can escape through the crack."

I didn't hear her. I took off my bandana and placed it in Fox's unclenched hands. I closed his knuckles and saluted to a fallen soldier. "_Rest in peace, Fox."_

"Snake! Didn't you hear me? We have to go."

Climbing on the roof, I heard guards yelling in resentment for the lost of their leader. The helicopter rotors were a sight for sore eyes. As the helicopter we escaped in flew us farther away from Zanzibar land, I slept with peacefully on the seat. I was content with burdens lifting from my shoulders.

No consequences but yet I grieved for my friend, "Fox, I'm sorry."

I had to kill him. He was in my way... the mission was at stake...if I didn't. There were no hard feelings between us. We were professionals and we treated each other like that to avoid personal attachment. My heart ached though.

The first thing on my list when I got back to headquarters was to confirm the words that still dug into my mind with anxiety and panic. I hope he is lying because if there is truth to the words of a maniac, God kill me.

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**Snake kicking a corpse? Oh man! I'm getting morbid. **


	5. David is no more

**Sorry for the long, long wait for this last chapter. It took me awhile to figure out how to write it!**

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David is dead

The CIA headquarters was as wax-shiny as he left it. Holly White was going to be dropped off but she insisted that she see the cartridge that Kio Marv died for. That so many people have died for. I already knew that it was right because even if Madnar was crazy, the dying words of a mad scientist and a father couldn't be ignored. But nothing mattered any more than the CIA archives that I was heading towards. The CIA probably had information that Foxhound couldn't even get accessed to. The truth was deep into their political games that they ploy upon many soldiers even the most skilled or valuable. I saw that the archives were protected by malleable doors with the seal of a eagle wearing a shield. The plastic couldn't be broken by force. The only way was to get a card key from an agent. I stared at all the Presidents and patriotic pictures that lead down the hallway. What did I owe this country? What did she ever do for me except making me kill for political gain?"

"Snake!"

I saw Holly White running towards me, confused.

"Why did you leave?"

"My job is over. The government got what they wanted."

"What happened back there with Big Boss?"

I knew that question was coming and I didn't know the answer. I was even shocked at my behavior and how morbid I was. I was supposed to cool and collected. How did I lose it to that old fool?

"Nothing."

"It wasn't nothing. You burned him. Kicked his burning corpse like you were enjoying it?"

"I didn't enjoy it!"

My raised voice made her flinch, "Sorry, I didn't know what came over me."

"You need to control that rage or you will be overcome by it. Whatever that madman told you. Don't let him have the last laugh! Forget about him and move on."

Her words cracked into my skull. She was right. I wouldn't turn into a madman like him. Something bright caught my attention. It was an ID card hanging from White's neck. I took a look at the card swipe near the sealed door blocking the answers to my questions.

Though, I knew Holly. She wouldn't let me have it especially in my state of mind. Besides, CIA archives were only authorized by certain agents which the CIA think they can trust.

"Holly…"

Suddenly, she hugged me. I felt this warmth of comfort and pity radiating from her. Like an angel. I couldn't waste this distraction. I pushed her away gently yet swift. She stared at my eyes with fire. I knew what she thought of me. I still owed her that Christmas dinner but I knew it would lead to more than that. I couldn't have that. Swiftly, my hand gave her a knock-out punch. Holly's cheek left an imprint of my knuckles on her white face which was in shock of my surprise attack. I watched her body hit the newly, waxed floor. Snatching the ID off of her neck, I swiped the card. On the other side as the glass doors opened, I saw a retinal scanner waiting for me.

"Biometrics."

I always had a contempt for those. Gently, I placed Holly's body on my shoulders. Dragging her seemed inappropriate and disrespectful. I already punched her to make her hate me for life. The retinal scanner blared a red glow as I sat her eyes towards the multiple scarlet lines dazzling her eyes. The knob above me turned to green and I gently sat her body against the wall. Before I left the second set of glass doors, Holly mumbled something under her breath that made me freeze on the spot.

"Snake…"

Her dreamy voice made me almost deter from my criminal actions but I couldn't go to her. Too far she was already. I didn't want to drag her down with me. Letting her go was the only way to keep her away from me. If she hated me, I'll welcome it. Because right now, there was nothing in my life.

Stacks upon stacks of white file cabinets filled up the entire room. They were magnetized by a security system that originated from a simple computer on the side wall. Normally, computers have dozens of password protocols that took several minutes to encrypt but the CIA seems to be lacking in its security these days or I was getting lucky. Scanning hundreds of secret projects, wetworks operations, and illegal smugglings, I finally got to profiles. Which had nothing I was searching for. I searched operations and my eyes flashed at the file labeled "N3l3/F014" As I double clicked it, I heard someone's footsteps approaching. It didn't matter any more. I found what I came for. One sentence made my life flash in dejection.

It read:

_Operations N313/F014_

_Mission outcomes were successful. Soldier known as Solid Snake killed Big Boss, his father which has been successfully hidden from agent to keep distractions or doubts from clouding his judgment. Thanks to Roy Campbell's cooperation._

"Snake…"

Roy Campbell stood near the entrance with a solemn look, "I'm sorry."

I was very tempted to push his body against the wall and ask him why. But the energy inside of me seem to drain. All the hate and anger washed away into indifference. I just walked past him without giving him a second look.

"They threatened to kill someone I loved if I didn't cooperate."

I stopped for a second to think. Still, no words seeped from my mouth except...

"It's okay, Colonel."

It was more of an acknowledgment than forgiveness. Blame rested on the government and on me mostly anyway. As I exited the building, my future seemed to disappear. I don't know where I'm heading to but I do know this.

I'm a changed man and I don't like what I see.

_Six Months later_

What is a soldier? At first, I thought of soldiers as protectors, defenders of truth and justice. But I grew up. Trying to be a soldier, I realized that they were machines...I was a machine. Taking orders blindly. Killing blindly. Used as a tool to fuel peace for a time or start a war. But I'm no longer a soldier. I'm a dog of war now. Murdering men and women for money. Does it sound petty? In my rookie years, I heard some government official tell a soldier that there is a difference between murder and kill. For a time, I foolishly believed that fact. But as I wade through the corpses of my enemies, I realized that it was false justification. As my bullets tear open the bodies of enemies, I felt nothing. As I stare at myself, I try to justify my actions. Battle was the only thing I knew how to do. I'm no engineer...doctor...psychiatrist. I'm a killer. Plain and simple. I didn't fight for peace or justice. I fought for myself. For my own survival. There was nothing in my life but war.

After days of killing, my nightmares came back. Hordes of memories flooded my brain with blood and guts. Screams of pain. Screams for mercy. Each kill that I had made in these past years was etched into my brain. I never liked killing. I used to despise killing someone so that I may yet live. I thought it was selfish to just fight for yourself. It was too much now. These nightmares were much worse than the ones I had after Outer Heaven. Nights after I finished my condemned job, I would be restless. Every time I closed my eyes, I will see the eyes of the people I murdered staring back at me. Images of their corpses laying on the ground, bloody and mutilated. Forcing me into a drown of alcoholism. I couldn't take it anymore. My drinking became so bad that I lost contact with everyone I cared about and forgotten about them. One night, I looked at the map of the great U S of A. I didn't know why. As I stared at the state of Alaska, I felt compelled to pack up my things from the hotel and take a plane there. I did. The next morning I went to the Langley Airport and took the earliest flight to the state of Alaska. Roy Campbell and Master Miller gave me their phone numbers so I could stay in contact in with them. Something inside told me that those two will never see me again or the old me anyway.

Alaska. The place was cold. None of the coats I brought worked to keep the below zero temperature from giving me hypothermia. Good thing the airport of Anchorage had clothing shops. As I walked the busy streets of the city, I took in the scenery. Horns blaring. People crossing the streets, trying to dodge cars that disobey the traffic laws. The sidewalks were a little better. He saw all kinds of people; newly-couples enjoying window shopping, mothers and fathers walking their children to candy shops or the mall that laid behind him, and businessman looking at their watches. All these people no matter how different had something in common. They belonged here. Their eyes clean from blood and trauma. These people will never see war like he did or understand it like he did. So they will never understand him. I didn't belong here with civilization. Was Big Boss right? Have I been in war too long that I can't enjoy what these people cherish so much? It was all so complicated. Suddenly, I got paranoid, all my senses became more aware. The civilan clothes I was wearing became tight and my nose twitched with the scent of blood. As the people stared at me, some of them were curious. Some were just freaked out by my nature and some wear faces of disgust. I looked down at myself to see blood on scaly skin. I panicked. I held my head with my hands and screamed as my whole body transformed into my codename. A flash of light hit my eyes as I realized that it was all a nightmare. I was still outside. My head was resting on the brick walls of the hotel that I was going to rent. I changed my mind. I don't belong here. My world was cruel, tormented, and evil. These people were from a different world. I was no longer a man but a shell of man. I was a snake and I belonged in nature.

Several days later, I moved all my things in a isolated cabin on a hill of a place called Twin Lakes. The natives that lived on the mountains behind me taught me how to train dogs and Silver, one of the Yupiks I befriended, gave me his fifty huskies out of the kindness of his heart. They accepted me into their land and I was grateful to them. More and more I kept myself stationed inside that little cabin. I became more introverted and secret. Most important of all, I became colder and dark. I looked at my mirror and see a dirty old man tired of everything. My hair was wiry and long. I was filthy. I was an animal. The only family I had was those fifty huskies and I'll protect and feed them as long as I live.

As my nightmares subsided, I felt peace. Thanked the natives and the dogs for giving me a life that didn't involve killing. I signed up for many small dog-sled races to help pay for supplies and food. As the people ask me for my name, I say 'David"

But deep down inside, David was gone. He fled my soul after Zanzibar Land. Solid Snake, the soldier and a killer, remained. Snake killed David.

David is no more.

* * *

**Is David really dead? I don't think so. He is just hidden for a while=)**

**This is the conclusion of Trial of Pain. I hope you guys have enjoyed it!**


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